I don’t care for the concept of ‘a new you’, as we are all fabulous anyway in our own way. For me a much more appealing thought is, ‘I am great anyway; life is good but I would like to improve further. I don’t want to end my life wishing it had been different, I want to be proactive. I want to take the driving seat, and not be a passenger in my own life,

Life is like creating a new garden. It evolves over time with nurture, change, mistakes and new knowledge until it becomes a place that makes us feel happy and at peace. Like a garden we are changing all the time, what works for us one year doesn’t necessarily align with who we are now. So, we reflect, re-evaluate, pull up a few weeds, and a new shrub and see what a difference it makes to the whole garden. Each year we can start with a clear garden and create something different if we truly want too.

That is why at the start of the year I believe it is important to reflect.
I start with the 5 questions below .(I like to sit in Silence and think about each question for 5/10 minutes, then I note down exactly what my thoughts were. I do this for each question in turn.

  1. Where am I?
  2. What has worked well this year?
  3. What have I learnt?
  4. WheredoIwantittobe?
  5. And what can I do daily to get there?

The reason I like questions instead of goals is they automatically get the brain thinking of answers; ( only 8% of people achieve their New Year goals!)

  • Questions spark, creative, flexible thinking.
  • Taking on challenges with curiosity helps us from worrying about the right way of achieving the goal.
  • It helps you think of smaller steps, to reach that goal so far in the distance it seems difficult to achieve.

Underlying my questions are my core values; we are all different, our values are the essence of who we are, it helps us think what is truly important to us. If we are out of alignment with these, we will find it difficult to be happy and satisfied with our lives. Hence I start with choosing my five main values. This should not be a deep thinking process but something that comes to your thoughts immediately. A subconscious thought, not something that is over analysed.

Mine are; love, family, health, compassion and learning.

What do I do next?

To further examine where am I in the different areas of my life I do the following exercise:

I will score myself 1-10 in each of the areas below (10 being the highest) but I cannot give myself a score of 7 as this is an okay grade. This means I am pushed to score myself with either a 6 or 8. If I score a 6 or below for any area that needs attention, an 8 would be doing well.)

Relationships
Career
Finances
Recreation
Spirituality
Self-Growth
Family
Health
Friends

I then focus on the 2 areas that I think are most important to me, normally the ones achieving the lowest score.

This is the same process I do with my clients. We then set small steps, daily intentions and habits to help us improve each area.

‘GOALS WITHOUT ACTIONS ARE WISHES!​’

For example I will have a client say; ​‘I want to get my zest for life back’​. I will then help them change it to a question. How can you change your daily habits to get your zest for life back?

Everytime we meet we will discuss and decide what is going well, what isn’t and why and changes that need to be made.

You can follow the process alone but having a coach working with you keeps you accountable to yourself and keeps you on track. A coach is continually updating their learning and thinking, doing the hard work for you. We only see life through our own lens which is why it is beneficial having a different perspective, ideally a trained coach or someone like a trusted friend. However an accredited coach is trained to help you achieve results quicker, understand you better and identify what is holding you back. My clients tell me that I am a real source of strength, knowledge and compassion when things get difficult for them as I support them wholeheartedly without judgement.

In 2019 make your life a priority. Don’t sleepwalk through life and then have regrets. Be proactive in creating the life you want to be living. Happiness is in having the courage to keep trying and being true to yourself, not necessarily only in the final destination. Be true to who you are and start on finding the better path for your life. There are many different paths you can take as you learn more about yourself but if you don’t get on the path you will remain in the same position.

You wouldn’t however, climb a mountain without the right tools the right research and importantly, the right guide. So it is in life, find the guide for what you need now. If you can’t afford a life coach keep doing your own research but do have the courage to invest time in improving your life. Living a happy satisfied life won’t just happen it needs to be a priority,

As Bronnie Ware reminds us in her book ‘The top 5 regrets of the dying’ (Based on her experience of working in palliative care for people in the last months/years of their life.)

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
  3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
  5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

(If you would like to hear an interview with Bronnie Ware, she was recently interviewed on the podcast Good Life Project)

Don’t end your life wishing! TAKE BACK CONTROL IN 2019.

FLEUR PRIME LIFE COACH, WIFE AND MUM OF 3 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND A DOG.